Four Management Lessons


Subject: Four Management Lessons

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw
the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of
the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of
the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you
there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get
him to
where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we
do
all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the
heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the
asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
feet
twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed
out
the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will
do!

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there,
a
cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in
the
pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was
actually
thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A
passing
cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound,
the
cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him
out
and ate him!

Management Lessons:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

FYI:Yes it is a mail forward

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