The golden age – Old age

For many or almost any person who live, it is about living and passing on generations to come. I read a post of a young blogger Prerna ,I am quite amazed by her thought process. I am about to answer a portion of her question – old age.

Once I was like her, liberated, lived my life, took life head on. Yes, I was the King at home, until now.

Age is catching up, I realize my body doesn’t go along with my mind. Yup, I am still young by mind.  I am about to tell you my experience, Which will surely put me in shame, at least it will be a good thought process for the readers.

My friends couldn’t believe, that my Mom and yours truly don’t get well along. She is sweet, I too love her, just that she get on to the nerves . It is because she loves me tooooo much, at all times she doesn’t want me to get hurt. I am still a boy for her.

Incident:
My kid was growing under my parent’s vision, which I didn’t like. My first son did some thing mischievous, I scolded him. She couldn’t take it. We fought over the issue. My parent left my home, Well they are at my native place now, awesome home when I want retreat, I spend some time there. Currently I have one satisfaction, they don’t get to know my pressure which I now undergo, else they would feel depressed for each and other thing and spoil their health. They are happy, they call up, talk to us. I am the one who feels guilty as charged for not taking care of my parents.

This is what happens when you don’t respect elders, why would they need to put up with you.

Remember one thing – You too are getting old, You too will have the same situation, facing your son or daughters. What you teach and behave is what your children do to you.

Yes, everybody feels insecure, when age catches up.

I will tell you about another incident of an unknown friend, She fought with her in-laws over custody of her children, she even went a head a complained at police station. People who provoked her are happy at home with their families.

What her husband and her in-laws undergo the public embarrassment did take a toll on her family life. Will not certainly share what she is going through. Some one’s misery is always happiness for public.

It should be worth fighting for, not for some small issues, Life threatening ones. Do fight it seriously. At times being submissive does means you lost the fight, at times it means you respect them, at times you forgive their ignorance, at times you teach you children how to be submissive.

Live your life, not others & not for others

Photo credit : VinodVV Photography

Let me start by telling you what my age is, 37 running. With two children, elder son almost 11 years old, the younger 3 and half years. Phew, I have started to sweat looking at my age and my family. Want to know why?

I am here to tell my own experience or experienced in real life situation. All this happened in the last few months of 2011 and had an awesome bachelors party for wrecking a deep down concept called “live your life”

What happened on December 30th 2011?
7 Friends gathered at one of friend’s home  and as usual the party started late at 8:30 PM. An absolute vodka with Cranberry juice + water for the topping. It was great for couple of rounds un till a friend wrecked the party with a question. What if, one of was on the death bed? and what would you do as a friend?

Couple of rounds of Vodka, just went in drain. This is the second instance he opened up this question, the first time the question appeared was on a family get together on 24th of December 2011 on a beach house, we were all having fun.

This happened on 24th of December, Few friends said that wouldn’t happen in the first place, why worry?
Here was the response from that friend.

You all know that my dad was ill, bed ridden and was admitted at Apollo for 4 months, I had mediclaim insurance to cover my entire family for 10 lakhs, and that claimed was so huge that the insurance company just paid 3 lakhs rest I had shell it out. I was fortunate or rather my dad was fortunate that I had money for his medical expenses. How much do each of you have incase of an emergency? Imagine the trauma, my mother, my wife, my daughter 7 yrs, my son who is just 3 yrs old, my Dad and finally me. Each one of us in our family where shuffling between hospital and home. That is when this question strike my mind when I was sitting in the lobby anxious waiting for my dad’s recovery.  

A deep silence. That is when it hit me and my friends.

He went on to explain “In present scenario if you had to save your family from an emergency you had to have a minimum of 10 lakhs of INR in liquid cash” May sound unreal, flamboyant. Well here is the untold truth. The medical insurance company is not so stupid enough to give you all the money you are entitled for the sum assured, people who had experienced will tell you, on what percentage the company reimburses, apart from that there are things which don’t come under the coverage. Those are written in 1 point size with a star pointed at different location on the policy.

The most important point he said as part of his realization

I can buy some time for my parents, can’t have them around till I die, for that matter any one around me.

What does that star point to?
Conditions apply, these are indeed in 1 point size, which makes you sweat.

Now to linger about the question

What if one of was on the death bed? and what would you do as a friend?

What was he trying to say?
You know what, we don’t live our life, We live our father’s, mother’s life, or son’s, daughter’s or even wife’s life. It has always been family, it has always been work, expenses etc. End of the day when you are the death bed, What did you do for yourself, Did you enjoy your life?

Don’t live other’s life, meaning your close family people’s life
Your father would have lived your life, till you got settled, at the end, you choose what to do and not his, right?. It is your children decision and it is certainly right. In what ever way you take it as right or rights.

I too had similar experience when my dad bought a new cycle and gave it to me and he retained the old cycle on which I learned to drive cycling.

Don’t live for others, there is certainly a meaning to your life. Sounds selfish, egoistic and even the american way of life (“actually speaking I love living the American way, didn’t have that freedom from my parents”). What ever it may be, when others don’t choose not to be on your side when you leave this god damn earth.

Finally to the statement of truth

Ok let me make it even simpler, unless you are in good health, prosperity and Happy. You will not be able to make any of the family members happy, not even your friends will look down upon you. Oh just a correction every one would “act” like they are on your side while looking upon you and having a feeling. “Enough, it is time for you to leave, I have to live others life. So don’t bother me any more”

Yeah, the truth is bitter. That is the truth. When was the last time you sung a song aloud, danced like no one watching you, even made crazy faces while drunk and even get it Photographed. Did you ever publish them? This doesn’t mean you have to do this, I love being photographed crazily. There are few crazy things which make you smile, keeps lingering, comes back to your mind when some else does that. It actually makes you happy.

Do you remember your own school days? You are old now, don’t remember much. But the same nostalgia comes back to you, when you see your children experiencing them.

Let me explain, my younger son wants to go to play school, it is fun, joy and play. It is Learn while you play. While the elder son eagerly watches the news for the school to declare holiday while it is raining. Do you see some thing which is hidden.

As you grow up there is a burden, some induced at home, school and even at office. We forgot what we did when we were young i.e to be playful and happy.

I believe, I still haven’t answer to that question

What if one of was on the death bed? and what would you do as a friend?

That question deserves a separate blog post. Still I will answer, Don’t know my friends stance, Will even let you know what my friends decision was. Still in back burner of those 6 individuals.

I will stand by and support to that friend who is unable to speak, unable to think, unable to comprehend that his pain is causing others a lot of pain. Let it financial, moral support or what ever is well with in my limit. Even if I die all alone.

So live your life, be happy or try to do some thing to make you happy. Remember, Friends = good times + bad times.